A Resource for Adult Dyslexics: by Linda Tessler

The Language of Dyslexia by Linda Tessler, a Doctor and a Dyslexic

How college students with disabilities can advocate for themselves

Self-Esteem and the Child with Dyslexia

by Linda G. Tessler, Ph.D., Psychologist, Bryn Mawr, PA

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Parents also need to honor a child's thoughts. Self-esteem is enhanced when a child believes that his/her thoughts are being heard and considered. At the same time, parents need to remain honest. If you agree with your child, say so. If you disagree, do so respectfully. For example, you might say, "I disagree, but yours is a point of view I hadn’t considered before."

I have worked with parents who reassure me that they honor their child’s thoughts. Yet they say to their teenager, "You’re too young to understand."

This is not respectful.

In the earliest stages, a child's entire self-image comes from how their parents see them. Children need parents to believe in them and believe in their ability to handle their own problems. Children with dyslexia also need to have real strengths and achievements mirrored back to them. But the compliment must be genuine and specific or the parent will lose credibility.

For example, instead of saying to your child, "You have good manners," you might say, "That was impressive the way you shook hands with Mr. Smith."

Dyslexia batters a child's self-esteem. It takes courage to go back to school after a difficult day of not being successful. Mirror that courage back to your child. I like to tell children that the coward and the hero are the same inside. They have the same feelings. The difference is what they do with those feelings.

In summary, one important aspect of instilling self-esteem is to make a clear distinction between behavior and feelings. Behaviors need to be rewarded and punished. Thoughts and feelings need to be honored.

Self-esteem – that unshakable belief in one’s own basic value – will help sustain the child with dyslexia through his/her difficulties, providing a building block for a successful adulthood.

Dr. Linda Tessler is a psychologist in Bryn Mawr, PA specializing in assisting individuals with dyslexia and their families. She has been an ODS member since 1982, and wrote this article especially for Perspectives.

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